Q&A.. 28 questions answered too many.. with some random funny memes

So I have decided to do a Q&A of the questions I have been asked over this past 9 months of my pregnancy because I am bored and have nothing better to do at the moment..

These are questions I have been asked by friends and family and strangers.. Some of them are eye rollers. 

(These are not in order)

Ill start with this one and it drives me insane this question has been asked the most.. Seriously.. WTH.
( But I still love you all )

1. "So do you think you will have anymore (children)??

Uhh can we get through this first pregnancy? I haven't even finished cooking this one..Let's see how this goes first.
But really .. I don't know. So far even though I have been lucky to not have a completely miserable pregnancy I am not sure I want to put my body through this again. Yes I have heard thee your body will forget and you will want to do it again. Well I guess well see. Plus one is enough.. kids are expensive, life is expensive and the world is fucking nuts. 

2. How did you find out you were pregnant?

I went to the store a Target to be exact and bought a box of pregnancy tests and peed on the test and holy shit 2 lines showed up... haha

Seriously though... But things were happening a little late and for the past week I wanted to smack my husband in the face for no reason.. So I figured something was up. I found out. Came home to tell him. Then realizing I had to contain my emotions and feelings and news because he invited a friend over for dinner. So by the time we were alone I couldn't tell him or record him or reveal to him in any sweet way that we were now expecting, I took a second test to make sure. Then threw the test at him while he was sitting on the couch playing video games.. Repeating maybe its not right. It sucks to bottle shit up like that for so long! Several minutes went by with out any words.  haha And now I think he is more excited than I am. 

3. Do you love the baby?

It is such a weird question and such a weird feeling and thing to explain how you could already love and care for something so much when you have never met or seen the little human that has been growing inside you and kicking the shit out of your uterus, bladder and belly button making you so uncomfortable at times you can not sleep. But yes I suppose I do. I am so excited to meet my son. MY SON! Such a weird thing to say. I am already attached and just want to kiss his face! 

4. Sex questions M Y O B... Sick freaks lol.

5.Was this planned?

Well yes and no. We didn't want to have kids at an older age. But I guess there is never a perfect time to reproduce. Except take my advice try to never get pregnant in the summer time because it is hot and miserable...

6. Can you tie your shoes?

Probably not, But I do not wear shoes with laces. Lately just sandals and flats. I can barley polish my toes. This past week accepted I should give up trying to shave my legs and can no longer see my lady parts. Can this be over with already?!

7. What does it feel like when the baby kicks?

I hate the it feels like gas comparison. Disgusting and so not true. For me anyways. I was almost 6 months before I started feeling anything. It just felt like butterflies. Those sweet butterflies you get when you get your first kiss. Cheesy!! But true. Then once the baby gets bigger it is no longer sweet butterflies but more intense and almost abuse j/k.. kinda haha. Just poke your self hard inside your mouth and imagine that sensation inside your stomach. Kind of what it feels like. The worst though is when you get kicked in the belly button. ugh.. A lot of women claim I will miss this feeling. No thank you. 

8. Is it weird not to get your period?

Gross. But its awesome not having to deal with the horrid awful cramps that have sent me to the hospital several times. Not having to deal with shopping for feminine products every month. It is actually pretty great. But from what I hear it sadly and disgustingly catches up with you after the baby arrives. Lets just pray that I do not have horrid cramps again. 

9. Do you talk to your baby?

I really haven't. The only time I talk to the baby is when he kicks the shit out of me and makes me uncomfortable I just beg to please stop hurting me so I can get some sleep. I sometimes rub my belly and sing if my begging and pleading for the constant thrashing fits in my belly don't stop. The singing sometimes works. I honestly feel kind of awkward though..

10. Have your senses become heightened?

Yes well sense of smell. I can smell everything so well it kind of sucks. I need to wash or throw out the rug in my living room. I actually would like a whole new living room set it smells funny to me. And we are really clean people. I am a clean freak. I wash my couch often.. Ugh smells. 

Sight has worsened. I'm blind. I should wear my glasses more. I even squint when I wear those. 

11. On average how many times a day do you spend thinking about the pain and childbirth?

Too much... Just thinking about the whole experience that is about to come in general terrifies me. It's disgusting, and scary. I do not care what any one says its not beautiful. Like really there is fucking blood and other disgusting shit and pain and ugh.. That is NOT beautiful. I am impressed with my self though over the past few weeks I have become less terrified. I have been feeling confident. I just want to get it over with and hold my baby. 

12. Your having a boy?! Is that what you wanted?

I mean any parent should be happy and excited for whatever the sex of their baby is right? I don't care for that question. But honestly I was crossing my fingers for a boy. Everyone in the family has girls and I feel if I had a daughter she would hate me haha. 

13. How much weight have you gained?

Really leave me alone I look fucking great that's all we need to know. 
My mother asks me this question all the time I just roll my eyes. Boy don't our mothers know what to say to us lol. But almost 40. I'm not ashamed. I am where I need to be and baby is healthy and for god sakes I was banned from exercise this whole time on top of the intense cravings. Screw it I have been enjoying my self. 

14. Are you planning on breastfeeding?

Yes. My opinion and most Dr's. Its healthier. Cheaper. Helps you lose weight and I am sorry who really knows whats in formula. I don't care who was fed formula and turned out fine I am not putting that shit in my child's body unless I have no choice. 

15. Is your husband happy?

Duh, Like I said I think he is more excited than I am. He moved us into a house helped decorate the baby's room. Named the baby. Tattooed his name on himself already. Think he's pretty damn happy. 

16. Are you going to delivery naturally? 

Why people feel the need to know or need a visual of what is or isn't coming out of my vagina is beyond me. If that's what they mean by naturally and most time it is. But I mean yes I would rather that than to be cut open. But Dr's please serve me any pain meds along with the epidural. Wah wah Its so horrible bringing your baby into the world drugged up. I am sorry but what baby actually has the memory of coming into the world let alone complaining oh mom why did you do that? Uhh cause its fucking painful. The more pain meds the better. If I don't remember I am OK with it. 

17. Can I touch your belly? 

I mean immediately and naturally this is offensive because I feel in my opinion just makes me feel like a fat whale,  When strangers ask, And when is it acceptable for a stranger to touch you in anyway. Yet the only response I ever give is yes.. Because I mean it is amazing I have life growing inside me. Family of course I mean they are as excited as you are.

18. How do you feel?

Well that changes every day. Also as time goes. I'm pregnant and almost done so I feel like I am ready  to meet this baby and be done. I would like to have a glass of Sangria along with an Ahi tuna sandwich. Husband if you are reading this don't forget take note Id like this to be my first dinner when I am allowed to eat what I want. 

19. First reaction to finding out you were pregnant?

Panicked. Like I was in trouble about to get expelled from school. I still wake up some mornings and think.. This isn't real.. Oh shit nope its real. 

20. Most common food craving?

Horizons Organic Chocolate milk. Blue Powerade and junk food. 

21. Hardest part about being pregnant?

Pelvic rest. 
No energy. 
Living far from family. 

22. How did you choose your baby's name?

I really didn't. Husband chose it I just agreed. Boy names such no offense. I didn't really care for anything. I last week agreed to a middle name that I don't care for once again. I don't know what to do. It is hard naming a human. I mean I have difficulties naming pets. I once named a gerbil "No Name" Best gerbil ever though..

23.  When is your due date?

September 28th, 2015. 

24. Who will be in the room with you when you go to the hospital. 

No one except my husband. Hopefully he doesn't faint and leave me solo.

25. Are you going to get rid of your dogs?

Why why would you ask that. We freaking love our dogs. No its not going to change. Yes we know we can't kennel the baby. But we might.. jk. 

26. Are you going to baptize the baby?

umm I am sorry but whens the last time you have seen me at church or praised jesus.  lol never. Why would I baptize the baby. I am no where near being a religious person. Sorry. 
I claim no religious beliefs. I just simply am not a believer in religion. The end. 

27. Has your pregnancy changed any relationships with you and your friends or family?

Yes and no. I am realizing who I can and can not count on more in my life though as of recently. Going through such a huge change in my life I see a little clearer who cares to be around more than not. It is a little disappointing, And it's hard to say. Pregnancy is changing some things... With a few people its better a few people its worse. Blah I don't like this question.

28.  Are you staying home with the baby?

Luckily yes and I was able to stay home my entire pregnancy. I seriously have the best husband. He goes above and beyond for me. I am very fortunate. I will be able to raise the baby and not have to hire a nanny or baby sitter. Even though he has a job that causes him to travel at times, I think we are fortunate to have the option at times for myself and the baby to travel where he goes. Also over the holidays in the industry is a very slow time so more time with dad! yay!