When I was younger I always imagined. Like most. My future. When I would get married and how many kids I would have. Now I have an amazing and adorable little boy. The cliches of the love between a mother and child are surreally accurate. I love my kid so damn much. I would do absolutely anything for him. I can't help but obsess over him. One word, Spoiled.
My husband and I have discussed many times in the past about how big of a family we desired, Adding to our family sounds great. I would love to give my son a sibling one day not too soon.
But lately more than ever, scrolling on Facebook, Instagram. Turning the TV on. Radio. Newspapers. Our world today, Is filled with more hatred than love. Our news feeds are highlighted with tragic events that are happening all over the world. That there is enough to change my mind about having another child..
Before I brought my son into the world. Hearing these stories on children dying from being forgotten in a hot car, Murdered.. Missing and Kidnaped. Etc.. Even adults for that matter. Just pure Melancholy. Global warming, with our ecosystem being threatened. Countries at war. Cancer rates accelerating. So now I think, What the fuck did I bring my poor innocent child into. Why is the human race letting the world become so unacceptably dangerous? What are we leaving behind for our children, And what we can hope for many future generations to come. I try to ignore almost every day how terrified I am for his future. People please wake up. Our children do not deserve this. Hell we do not deserve how the world is today, Let alone worrying for our offspring. The statements of adjustment are bullshit. We as in every living person, needs to take part doing positive instead of any kind of negative. Otherwise we are leaving an un sure future for our children.
When I was a child I walked to school all alone, In Elementary School. With out a thought or worry of some one kid napping me. I even had a bike and rode it all around and beyond the street I lived on. Its sad to think my child will not safely have that opportunity to do more kid things like exploring like I did as a kid. But sadly As I grew older. The world got worse. So more time indoors. Now its to the point where some days I am on edge even being in public. Why has it gotten to this point? Our food isn't even safe anymore, With recalls occurring I want to start growing my own produce..
I understand in a way I may be a bit of a hypocrite with this situation..I could try a little harder. But can't we all? Over all, I consider myself to be a good person. I do not discriminate. I just mind my own damn business and keep my opinions to myself. Unless otherwise asked. As for the rest of the world should. Please take note and we would already with just that be in a better place. Who care's what color your hair is or what brand you wear. What religion, race and sexual orientation. If its not physically harming you to death or causing someone else harm then move on and mind your own. Why is it that every one is so concerned with what everyone else is doing. Stop it please just stop. Didn't most of us learn this in like pre school. " Keep your hands to your self, And if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all " kind of sayings...
I don't know what it is especially as of lately, I guess there is just something about having a child and being someones mother that makes me want to strive harder to become a better person. I recycle as much as I can. I shower less and reuse cooking water to water my plants. When we can we donate to animals and random fundings. Ive even stopped eating red meat so far. We need more of this good in the world, and more. I aim to add more to this list.
I just wish everything in the world could be little less corrupt. Is it so much to ask for our human race to be a little less selfish and greedy. Would maybe creating less pollution and using natural solutions to power and makes things be so much to ask? Perhaps no wars and hatred. Figure out things in a civilized way instead of blowing each other up? Perchance our news channels should provide people more privacy and not spill out every damn detail, just so they can become the number one news station. Practice your religion but keep it to your self and don't discriminate those who don't want to follow in those foot steps.
This isn't just a letter of complaint and venting about the world. Well mostly, Though it just honestly adds to my anxiety and depression. However a wish and hopeful thought that we could bring more world peace into our lives.. I know I don't want my child to grow up in hatred and filth and live in fear. For anyone and everyone out there, Can we please take an extra moment out of your day and try to make a difference? I know I will, especially for my children.
Another mom in the crowd.